Naughty Krishna holding a piece of candy
The Gift of Pain
A tribute to my spiritual master on the anniversary of his appearance in this world
The other evening, a Christian song taught me something about Srila Prabhupada.
As I sported in my favorite playground, the internet, I stumbled upon a site featuring Christian music. “Well,” I thought, “why not give it a listen?”
I felt almost hypnotized by the soft, lovely music—good old American country-style—and the poetry of faith in Jesus Christ.
Then my thoughts flip-flopped. My mind showed me the Christians sitting around the dinner table feasting on slaughtered chickens and cows.
I cupped my chin in my hand. “What good is the beautiful music” I thought, “when you live off the pain of others?”
“Oh yeah?” says Mr. Christian and slams his bloodied fork down on the table. He stands up, picks up his napkin, and wipes the gravy from his chin.
“You some kind of nut?” he shouts. “Who’s gonna cry for a chicken or a cow? Huh? They’re lower creatures. They don’t feel pain the way we do.”
Oops! Sounds like the same excuse Hitler used for killing Jews, doesn’t it? He called them sub-human (‘untermenschen’).
But did I do any better than Hitler or the Christians or the other vampires?
I too feasted on the pain of others. Then Prabhupada showed me Lord Krishna’s words:
He is a perfect yogi who, by comparison to his own self, sees the true equality of all beings, in both their happiness and their distress, O Arjuna.
So Prabhupada gets the credit, not me. And let’s look at something else from Prabhupada:
Vaisnava is always feeling for others’ distress. That is Vaisnava. Vaisnava: para-dukha-dukhi, they are very much afflicted with others’ miserable life (lecture)
We like to speak of compassion, but what does “compassion” mean if not the ability to feel the pain of others?
Most Jews eat meat, but the most famous Jew of all, Jesus Christ, sacrificed his own life to save his followers.
And Prabhupada told me about the great compassionate devotees in our own Vaisnava line, like King Sibi, who offered his own body to a hungry eagle to save the life of a pigeon. Would someone who eats chicken do that? He would take the pigeon away from the eagle and eat it himself.
His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
(Photo: source unknown)
A leper named Vasudeva could not bear to let even the tiniest of entities suffer, not even a worm who might fall from one of his sores. He would pick up the little creature and put it back on. Yes. Even a little worm feels the pain of hunger. (And at their first meeting, Lord Chaitanya healed his devotee Vasudeva.)
Can you think of anyone else would care about the tiny beings that most people step on?
No? Well I can. Why did Prabhupada tell his servants not to cut the grass at his house in Los Angeles? “You have given the animals a home,” said Prabhupada. “Do not take it away.”
For me, though, I am swallowing hard today and wiping the sweat off my forehead because my landlord told me he cannot renew my lease. But what if I had built the apartment myself and someone came with a giant lawn mower and smashed it to pieces? I would be yelling and crying and flailing my arms. The mere thought cuts through my stomach like a sword. And it’s just a thought.
Could I have ever imagined that a little bug would feel something even worse if it really happened? Of course I couldn’t. Prabhupada’s servants had to tell me.
Vasudeva Datta, another devotee of Lord Chaitanya, wanted to take upon himself the pain of not just worms and pigeons and followers but of all living entities:
My dear Lord, let me suffer perpetually in a hellish condition, accepting all the sinful reactions of all living entities. Please finish their diseased material life. (CC. Madhya 15.163)
Thousands of years earlier, the devotee Rantideva offered the same prayer:
I do not pray to the Supreme Personality of Godhead for the eight perfections of mystic yoga, nor for salvation from repeated birth and death. I want only to stay among all the living entities and suffer all distresses on their behalf, so that they may be freed from suffering.” (SB. 9.21.2.)
What a marvelous thing Prabhupada has shown me! Just by reading about the compassion of these Vaisnavas, I have seen a brilliant new facet of the jewel we call human life.
Who am I, though, to talk big words of compassion? Would I offer my own life to save a pigeon? But Prabhupada has shown me which way to turn as I continue on my path toward human life.
But turn in the direction of pain?
Let me ask Srila Prabhupada:
Dear Srila Prabhupada,
Fifty-seven years ago, I came to you looking for eternal pleasure. Today I want to ask for pain. But not the pain of feeling sorry for myself. Oh no. That makes me curl my lips in a snarl.
Rather let me feel the pain of those who suffer— whatever their race, whatever their species. Let me feel their bodily pain, their grief, their hopelessness, and give me the strength to endure it.
Give me the strength to follow in the footsteps of Rantideva. After sharing his family’s food with a brahmana, he shared his last plate of food with a sudra and with a keeper of dogs and the dogs. Then he gave his last glass of water to a dog-eater.
Please point me in that direction.
Please grant me eternal remembrance of the hardships and troubles you yourself endured to save me. And let me follow you on this path.
And yes, please give me strength— the strength to bear whatever pain I must when the need arises so I can teach Krishna Consciousness and take away the pain of others. And let this path of pain lead me—I don’t know how many millions of lifetimes it will take—let it lead me to the most blessed of all pains: the pain of separation from Krishna, and let it be forever in your service.
Your undeserving disciple,
Umapati Swami
⁓Umapati Swami, September 8, 2023
Eternally touching my head to the floor at the lotus feet of my spiritual master, Srila Prabhupada, for showing me all this.
(Note: The opinions expressed in this article are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of any organization or any other person.)
Photo top: Naughty Krishna holding a piece of candy (Jishnu Das)
Write to me: hoswami@yahoo.com
© Umapati Swami 2023
Scriptural passages © Bhaktivedanta Book Trust
Srila Prabhupada
His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada is the teacher who brought Krishna Consciousness from India to the West and then to the rest of the world. He is the founder of the worldwide Hare Krishna Movement as well as the author and compiler of many works of Vedic knowledge. He left this world in 1977.
Umapati Swami
One of the first American devotees of the Hare Krishna Movement, he became Srila Prabhupada’s disciple in 1966. Since then, he has preached Krishna Consciousness in many countries and is the author of “My Days with Prabhupada,” available from Amazon. Now 86 years old, he has started this blog to share what he has learned.
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